No offence to Amy Verner or The Globe and Mail, probably Canada's best newspaper, but I don't think it can be called news that nautical themes are a "perennial favourite". It's as if they thought, "Newspaper readers are de facto unconnected. Let's cover a "trend" at least five years old and pretend there's something new to say about it." I get the same sort of discordant feeling reading this as I do when network news reports on Twitter.
All of this wouldn't matter if the styling was right. But then...
Again you can see the editorial wheels churning, pegging their reader as a middle-aged, style ignorant businessman. But if that's the case, why not try and branch out? What if they broke a story that was actually news, and used their longer format and wider space to illustrate something truly new and innovative? What if they, you know, reported something about style that is genuinely newsworthy?
I love newspapers. I don't want them to die. But this...this is a Sear's catalogue.